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I asked, and now God is teaching me what it means to truly love.
He's got His work cut out.
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The last couple of days, I think that God has been telling me to love people more. So I've been trying.
And really what's happened is that love has just started pouring out onto me. Unbelievable love. I can't even begin to explain it. Yesterday I struck up a conversation with the guy who works at Broad Ripple Vintage and he gave me a dress for free, saying that "it pays to be nice". Seriously?
Then, tonight, Adam had a party and my friend from a long time ago just randomly sat at lunch with me and so I invited her and we ended up having a great time talking and really connected. I took her home and went back to the party and when my friends Tom and Brittany and I realized that we were the only ones not drinking, we decided to leave (with the premise that we'd come back if anyone needed a ride). We went to Steak n' Shake and had a great time and the night ended with plans for tomorrow.
And all of these people are just so loving and unassuming.
And hey, guess what? I came home and Andrew Bird is playing on TV. I freaking met that guy.
My day was amazing.
Man.
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So we euthanized Jupiter on Saturday. My brother, mom and dad were all there. We buried him in the middle woods between our neighbor's house and our old house. It's been terrible. Let me tell you, losing a dog is not a trivial thing. It is a bitter pang.
And then I got really sick.
These things have been a comfort to me:
-Sleeping on my ground with all my pillows and blankets and a choice few stuffed animals (I am such a nostalgic person), then waking up and getting up on my bed because who really wants to sleep on the floor?
-Apples from Adrian's orchard, chili, chocolate, all those things that aren't supposed to be comforting.
-Sufjan's Christmas albums.
-My teachers. They get it. Dogs die, and that's sad.
-Realizing (again and again) that school isn't the most important thing in my life.
-Texting. That's a random little one, but I've really been texting a lot lately.
-My brother. My mom. Weird, I almost said "My dog". That's sad.
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We're taking my dog Jupiter to be put down today.
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Oye. Here it is. Finally. The few moments before bed where I am done with everything I need to do (save a few hygienic obligations, I suppose). My homework has been worked, my doctor has been visited (shots have been shot), I've regrouped from small group and I've chipped away a little bit more at the college application process. Life is hard.
I'm applying to Indiana University, Ball State University and Calvin College in Grand Rapids. Then I'm applying like crazy for scholarships, because if I went through all I did without some pity money to show for it, I'm not gonna be happy.
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